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Successful Parenting- Tips and techniques to raise healthy and happy
 
 
Indiscipline
What is the problem about?

Indiscipline among children is a very common cause of discontent and frustration for both parents and teachers. It becomes a problem when children do not heed to orders or requests from elders and only want to have their own way.

Indiscipline is a behavioural disorder that is classified as an act of delinquency. Indisciplined children are uncontrollable and cause a lot of mental and emotional damage to their parents.

Instances of indiscipline can assume many forms—lying, stealing, playing truant, or running away from home. For example, when you tell your children to clean their room, they start arguing, whining, or protesting. Teenagers often throw tantrums when they are asked to return home before a pre-determined time, say, 8 o’clock. Protests by these children may be in the form of flinging the platter of food on the floor or not eating for a couple of days. Not getting up or going to bed on time, playing or watching television during hours meant for studies, are some other examples of lack of discipline among children.


Signs/symptoms to look for
  • Instances of indiscipline can be in the form of lying, stealing, playing truant, or running away from home.
  • Children start arguing, whining, or protesting if asked to clean their room.
    Teenagers fight back or retort when they are asked to return home before a pre-determined time.
  • These children may display irresponsible behaviour in the form of flinging the platter of food on the floor or refusing to eat for a couple of days.
  • Some other examples of lack of discipline are not getting up or going to bed on time, playing and watching television during the time allotted for studies.
Causes

Causes of indiscipline among children are rooted in the parenting methods to a large extent. Experts have found that children with behavioural problems usually have parents who possess ineffective disciplining techniques. However, some temperamental problems can also cause children to exhibit indiscipline, which can be eliminated with expert guidance.


Solutions

With good disciplinarian techniques, parents can bring in a lot of positive changes in the behaviour of their children.

Rewarding is far better an option than punishing. Scientific studies have shown that people respond more quickly to positive consequences and encouragement. Moreover, young people enjoy accepting challenges and meeting goals. Therefore, it is always better to look for a positive alternative behaviour in your children that can be rewarded in place of punishing them for indiscipline. Sometimes they see the opportunity to perform for a reward as a form of competition with themselves or with siblings or peers.

Rewards need not always be in the form of money or tangible gifts and can vary according to what children want, their age, and what is reasonable in a given situation. Parents need to be creative in choosing rewards since these can also lose their effectiveness as children become accustomed to them.

For example, instead of scolding your children every night when they refuse to go to bed on time, you can offer to read them a story or play their favourite video in exchange of a reasonable bedtime. Similarly, when they do well in school, in sports, or in bypassing a temptation, parents need to acknowledge and congratulate their children.
Consistency in rewarding positive behaviour is essential as no programme of punishments or rewards will be effective without it.

Another important aspect of disciplining children positively is reasonable and objective punishment. Parents can always cite natural consequences of any wrong action children may be engaging in instead of physically punishing them for disobedience. For example, when teens fail to do their homework, they may not be able to pass a test, thereby earning a natural negative consequence of the chosen action. Or, if they stay up late, they may miss the school bus and end up with a tardy or absence mark on their school record.

There are, however, many cases where natural consequences are not always citable because they are either irreversible or may show up after a long time. Teen smoking is such an example. Because the consequence of smoking (lung cancer) is irreversible and has a long gestation period, it becomes difficult for children to accept warnings against the act. Young people like to live in the present moment rather than thinking of or worrying about long-term consequences. Here, you may need to give stricter warnings to erring children and even threaten them of denial of privileges such watching TV or meeting friends for a certain number of days.

Parents can discipline their children easily when they set household rules, place limits on their behaviour, and monitor their social activities with friends from a tender age.
Positive approaches to discipline and creating a positive atmosphere will generate self-discipline in your children.

Although opinions remain divided on the use of corporal punishment, there is nothing positive about spanking, and it is not necessary. There are always alternatives to causing harm to your children through positive discipline. When children grow feeling competent and inculcate values based upon their parent’s behaviour and actions, it is carried on through adolescence, where it stands them in good stead.

In case, you have tried all the above suggestions and still have questions on lack of confidence in your children, you can get a practical solution from Jiva. Jiva makes use of the know-how of its expert educationists and the wisdom of Ayurveda to provide you consultation for these kinds of problems. Please feel free to contact Jiva at 0129-4088152 or write to us at asksteve@jiva.com. We will try our best to give a solution to your child’s problem with our expertise.
 


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