With good disciplinarian techniques,
parents can bring in a lot of positive changes in the
behaviour of their children.
Rewarding is far better an option than punishing. Scientific
studies have shown that people respond more quickly to
positive consequences and encouragement. Moreover, young
people enjoy accepting challenges and meeting goals.
Therefore, it is always better to look for a positive
alternative behaviour in your children that can be rewarded
in place of punishing them for indiscipline. Sometimes they
see the opportunity to perform for a reward as a form of
competition with themselves or with siblings or peers.
Rewards need not always be in the form of money or tangible
gifts and can vary according to what children want, their
age, and what is reasonable in a given situation. Parents
need to be creative in choosing rewards since these can also
lose their effectiveness as children become accustomed to
For example, instead of scolding your children every night
when they refuse to go to bed on time, you can offer to read
them a story or play their favourite video in exchange of a
reasonable bedtime. Similarly, when they do well in school,
in sports, or in bypassing a temptation, parents need to
acknowledge and congratulate their children.
Consistency in rewarding positive behaviour is essential as
no programme of punishments or rewards will be effective
Another important aspect of disciplining children positively
is reasonable and objective punishment. Parents can always
cite natural consequences of any wrong action children may
be engaging in instead of physically punishing them for
disobedience. For example, when teens fail to do their
homework, they may not be able to pass a test, thereby
earning a natural negative consequence of the chosen action.
Or, if they stay up late, they may miss the school bus and
end up with a tardy or absence mark on their school record.
There are, however, many cases where natural consequences
are not always citable because they are either irreversible
or may show up after a long time. Teen smoking is such an
example. Because the consequence of smoking (lung cancer) is
irreversible and has a long gestation period, it becomes
difficult for children to accept warnings against the act.
Young people like to live in the present moment rather than
thinking of or worrying about long-term consequences. Here,
you may need to give stricter warnings to erring children
and even threaten them of denial of privileges such watching
TV or meeting friends for a certain number of days.
Parents can discipline their children easily when they set
household rules, place limits on their behaviour, and
monitor their social activities with friends from a tender
Positive approaches to discipline and creating a positive
atmosphere will generate self-discipline in your children.
Although opinions remain divided on the use of corporal
punishment, there is nothing positive about spanking, and it
is not necessary. There are always alternatives to causing
harm to your children through positive discipline. When
children grow feeling competent and inculcate values based
upon their parent’s behaviour and actions, it is carried on
through adolescence, where it stands them in good stead.
In case, you have tried all the above suggestions and still
have questions on lack of confidence in your children, you
can get a practical solution from Jiva. Jiva makes use of
the know-how of its expert educationists and the wisdom of
Ayurveda to provide you consultation for these kinds of
problems. Please feel free to contact Jiva at 0129-4088152
or write to us at
email@example.com. We will try our best to give a
solution to your child’s problem with our expertise.