Lack of confidence among children is one of the major concerns for parents today. Children suffering from diffidence withdraw into themselves and find very little joy in their world. They generally suffer from low self-esteem which can make life much more difficult for them.

Children who have low self-esteem may not want to try new things. They hesitate and frequently speak negatively about themselves. They exhibit a low tolerance for frustration, giving up easily or waiting for somebody else to take over or lead them through difficult situations. Children with low self-esteem perceive temporary setbacks as permanent, intolerable conditions. These children are always dominated by a sense of pessimism and hopelessness.

Sometimes, however, when children have a break from their usual routine (for instance, when they go on a vacation or are ill and stay home for a few days), they need some time to get adjusted again and therefore temporarily exhibit lack of confidence. Whatever be the cause, children usually make the adjustments back to their routine life if given the time to do so.

But this is not the problem faced by a few children. Lack of confidence affects these children to the point that it becomes difficult for them to study properly in schools for fear of failure, or from particular teachers. They do not take part in co-curricular activities such as sports and games for fear of physical injury or out of sheer shyness.

Professional counselling remains the only option for these children.

• Children have low self-esteem about themselves.
• These children do want to try new things.
• They frequently speak or think negatively about themselves.
• They exhibit a low tolerance for frustration, give up easily or wait for somebody else to take over.
• Children with low self-esteem see temporary setbacks as permanent, intolerable conditions.
• These children are always dominated by a sense of pessimism.
• Some of these children find it difficult to study properly in schools for fear of failure, or from particular teachers.
• They do not take part in co-curricular activities such as sports and games out of shyness or due to the fear of physical injury.

Lack of confidence is a behavioural problem. When there is an imbalance in the combination of feelings of capability with feelings of being loved in children, a poor self-esteem is the result. Children who are happy with their achievements but do not feel loved may eventually have to deal with emotions of low self-esteem. Likewise, children who feel loved but are hesitant about their own abilities can also end up feeling low about themselves.

Therefore, the upbringing of children plays an important role in determining whether they are going to grow up as confident and self-assured individuals or not.

Children who have a healthy self-esteem tend to enjoy interacting with others. They are gregarious, comfortable in social settings and enjoy group activities as well as independent pursuits. They are also willing to pursue new interests. When challenges arise, these children are able to work towards finding solutions. They voice discontent without belittling themselves or others.

The onus, therefore, of helping children build the inner strength to cope with life's ups and downs as they grow lies with the parents. Good parenting can make a lot of difference by way of building the confidence of your toddlers.

You need to express love and tell your children, as often as possible, that you care for them. You can do this in several ways. One of the best ways is to have a chat with them. Talking together gives the message that you enjoy your children's company. Another way of showing your affection to them is by listening to them. This shows your children that you find them interesting and worth listening to. Sometimes it is advisable to join in your toddlers’ games. You can also ask your children to help you with household chores and thereby communicate that you enjoy spending time with them.

While praising your children for succeeding in an effort is important, appreciation should be expressed for the efforts and attempts too.

Encouraging children to do their daily chores like managing buttons or putting on their own clothes independently gives a great boost to their self-esteem. You should, however, be ready to step in if they get into difficulties and feel frustrated. But avoid solving every problem for them.

You can help children feel they can exert some control over the world by providing choices to them. For example, you can ask your children to choose their own clothes or which book they would like to read with you.

Try to avert disasters that can lead to loss of confidence in your children, or bring in tempers and tears to them. The over-confidence shown by some children can falter quite quickly if they constantly fail at all the things they try. Therefore, you need to stay one step ahead.

Never forget to emphasise the good points in your children and ignore any annoying behaviour as much as possible.

You as parents can provide your children with plenty of activities to try their hand at. Experimenting with lots of different things makes it more likely for your children to find something they are good at, even if there are many things they cannot manage so well yet.

Since the ability to make friends and get on well with others plays a big role in building self-esteem, parents need to take an active interest in encouraging friendships among their toddlers.

In case, you have tried all the above suggestions and still have questions on lack of confidence in your children, you can get a practical solution from Jiva. Jiva makes use of the know-how of its expert educationists and the wisdom of Ayurveda to provide you consultation for these kinds of problems. Please feel free to contact Jiva at 0129-4088152 or write to us at asksteve@jiva.com. We will try our best to give a solution to your child’s problem with our expertise.