Children nowadays are as much more exposed to stress as compared to their parents in their own times. Occasional stress is normal. It is something everyone has to deal with and it helps children develop coping skills if they learn to manage it early on in life. Stress becomes a problem when it prevents children’s daily activities and when the effects become more or less permanent.

Factors such as callow parenting skills and high expectations from parents and teachers lead to a situation where children find it difficult to cope with their daily chores.

They thus begin to lead an abnormal life, prone to stress-induced symptoms such as temporary depression, helplessness, knotting of the stomach, tension, anger, and so forth. This may further contribute to adverse manifestations which include anxiety, tension, helplessness, depression, phobia, mood swings, anger, and even, repeated suicidal tendencies.

• First stage of stress symptoms include increased breathing rate and a racing heart.
• Second is the resistance stage when the body attempts to slow down but is unable to stabilise. This prevents the body to relax adequately and results in difficulty in sleeping.
• The third stage includes feelings of exhaustion and tiredness.
• Physical symptoms include headaches, nausea, sweaty palms, heart palpitations, dizziness, stomachaches, diarrhoea, bedwetting/soiling, etc.
• Behavioural changes include daydreaming, nervousness, poor concentration, pulling of hair, biting fingernails, compulsivity, sleeping disorders, nightmares, ear tugging, fighting, cruelty to animals and/or peers, suicidal attempts, etc.
• Emotional changes seen in stressed out children are sadness, worry, fear, confusion, depression, anxiety, irritability, anger, withdrawal from usual activities, etc.

Factors causing stress among children can have their roots at home, school, among their friends or in the environment they are living in.

Some of the reasons for stress among children caused by the environment at home are relationship with parents, relationship between parents, arrival of a new sibling, sibling rivalry, unemployment of parents, chronic illness of the children or any of their parents, death of a relative or pet, etc.

Children have many reasons to feel stressed at school too. Going to a new school, changing schools frequently, relationship with teachers, difficulties in fitting in with peers, homework worries, fear of tests, competition, failing grades, etc.

There are also other reasons for stress among children owing to peers and environment such as peer pressure, relationship with the opposite sex, pressure to excel in sports/extracurricular activities, television, current events, neighbourhood situations, gangs, violence, strikes, natural calamities, etc.

Parents can make a huge difference to the lives of their children by helping them cope with annoying situations successfully. The first step for parents is to be aware of possible factors causing stress and to recognise the signs of stress.

Do not burden them with your problems. Instead, talk to children about the family's goals and discuss difficulties or problems in a friendly manner. When you are under extra stress, be sure that you are not passing it on to your children. Set a good example by demonstrating self-control and coping skills yourself. Children can benefit by seeing how you cope successfully with stress.

Do not overburden your children with too many after-school activities and responsibilities. Let children learn to pace themselves and choose what they are really interested in. Have reasonable expectations and set manageable goals in academic and extracurricular fields. Do not enroll them in every class that comes along, and do not expect them to be first in everything.

You can help ease stress from your children’s life by paying personal attention to their problems. Talk to your children and listen to what they have to say. Find out what is happening in their life and take an active interest in it. Be sensitive to changes in your children's behaviour and respond to them appropriately.

Parents can teach children some stress management techniques such as expressing their inner emotions by drawing with crayons in stressful situations. This will help children handle stress now and in future as well.

Giving a hug to your children to smooth out a stressful situation is an excellent way to reassure your commitment to them. Compliment children when they do well. Use humour to buffer bad feelings and situations. Children who learn to use humour themselves will be better able to keep things in perspective.

Teach children to take deep breaths during crunch situations, which will help them to relax. Ask them to focus on what is going on at that moment. Taking deep breaths provides more oxygen to the body, eases tension and allows the body to relax.

Parents should take a break from their regular routine occasionally and take children out for a walk. Include physical activities such as practising yoga, playing soccer or cricket, riding on cycles or bikes, etc to help them invigourate and freshen themselves. Exercise is a great stress buster.

Encourage relationships with extended family members, friends and helpful neighbours. Just knowing that there is someone else to turn to or share feelings with can be reassuring for children. Spending quality time together or having a few good laughs together goes a long way in reducing stress and in building solid family relationships.

In case, you have tried all the above suggestions and still have questions on lack of confidence in your children, you can get a practical solution from Jiva. Jiva makes use of the know-how of its expert educationists and the wisdom of Ayurveda to provide you consultation for these kinds of problems. Please feel free to contact Jiva at 0129-4088152 or write to us at asksteve@jiva.com. We will try our best to give a solution to your child’s problem with our expertise.